Returning from a family funeral, Graham and Anna Baker, together with Anna’s brother Leonard, are joined for tea by Peter, an employee of Graham’s, with his delicious fiancée, Joan – at whom Graham makes a lecherous lunge. This pass is observed by Leonard, the family maverick, as he sits outside in the garden, where he normally repairs to quote poetry and discuss life with the garden gnome, and to reflect upon the rituals of football and cricket which are enacted on the recreation grounds, just beyond the garden.

Peter, a sports fanatic, inveigles the reluctant and frankly useless Leonard into these rituals, while Leonard concentrates rather on wooing Joan, at which he is manifestly more adept. By the onset of the football season, Joan is all set to marry Leonard, but has quite neglected to inform Peter, the lady’s hopeless fiancé, that he has been supplanted in her affections.

Recalling Graham’s earlier advances towards Joan, however, Peter misreads the situation and launches into a violent attack upon Graham. Leonard witnesses this, but is little motivated to intervene as Graham has dismissed him from the family home. Joan decides that Leonard’s conduct has little to do with love for her, and walks out, leaving Peter and Leonard to console each other after the match at having ‘mislaid the trophy’, but also agreeing that ‘there’s more to life than winning trophies.’

Copyright: Ian Watson (extract from ‘Conversations With Ayckbourn’, published by Faber & Faber)